Home for Christmas

Home for the holidays! I couldn't imagine being anywhere else for Christmas.  I've always made it a priority to be home in Indiana for Christmas.  Although I've missed numerous thanksgivings, birthdays, and other important events... apologies go forth.  Christmas has been my one rule. Through all the different cities, countries, and continents... I've seemed to always make it homebound for the jingle season.  I hope that this is always the case during this important festive celebration, "inshallah" I say.  His Will over mine.  What a wonderful time it has been with family and friends, although I didn't get to see everyone... maybe next time.  They will be in my thoughts and prayers.

So here I sit at the airport, drinking a vanilla latte, bags checked, and my new "mac" out- typing away.  Yep, I upgraded... I now own a mac! I absolutely love it... but it will take some time to get adjusted.  Maybe I can take a tutorial class or two once getting back to the UAE.  Unless your reading this, are in my current city, and want to give me free lessons? Coffee will be on me. :-)

A wonderful Christmas in Indiana, heading to a Spirit filled 4 day conference in Kansas City! Holy Spirit rain on me! Aauugghh how I have longed for my home away from home in a different home.  Yes, that may be a little confusing but somehow it's true.  Kansas City has captured a piece of my heart, it's all about His House of Prayer.  I am coming to realize just how important His House... or Houses of Prayer are.  My heart has been on fire lately when thinking about His House of Prayer.  Transform me to have more Zeal for Your House Lord. Transform this heart to be Zealous for what You are Zealous for.  I'm so stoked about this conference! Can't wait to see what He has in store!

So with that said... Here I am, gett'n ready to board another plane (although a shorter flight this time).  I have come to realize that there are two things that I had taken for granted while living in the States... tall boots and IHOP!  Funny thing is... I'm now wearing boots to IHOP! Hahaha!

What about the others?

I lifted my hands high in praise and began to sing my verses to the King. I felt free. I felt absolutely exhilarated. I felt love. I felt grace. I wanted to seek His face. I began to go deep into communion with Him. I can only explain it in a way that a human mind can explain a deep mystery, which isn't any sort of explanation at all. So I can't explain it in words that are comprehendable. It's real. It's alive. It's fire. It's a desire that absolutely consumes you and you never ever want to go back. It's Spirit and Truth. It's His real love.


As I began to commune deep into Him, I told Him "I want to know Your Heart." "What are You feeling?" "Show me a closeness that I have not known." I began to sing my verses in the spirit. As I closed my eyes I saw the darkness of an abandoned room that stung with death. As the room adjusted to my eyes, I realized that I was not alone. As I looked around the room, I saw the whites of little eyes set upon me. I gazed into their faces. Stolen, abused, trapped, and sold. Helplessness. Despair. I looked into their childlike eyes but their sense of childhood seemed to have been buried deep down, until it seemed that it was no longer. My heart yearned to snatch them all up into rescue. Where was I? Who were they? Could I save them? They were abandoned but only to be used. As I looked into their scared faces I could hear the music of intercession for contending for their freedom. The intercession was playing in the darkness of the house. I could hear the prayers going forth but they could not hear them. How I could feel God's love for them. How I could feel God's very Heart for them.

A man appeared to enter the room. Rushing to me in a frantic he said "Hurry. It's time to go. Grab 1 child." So I grabbed one child as a mother hen would rescue one of her young. I put him under my wing and began to run. I ran the child to safety. Placing him down into the shadow of the Almighty. Safe he was but wait... I began to scream and cry... "No! What about the others?! What about the others?!" They were stuck in the trap of slavery.

Pass by

As I stand on this mountain trembling with fear...     I hear Him say...
Return to the way, the way of the wilderness My dove
My child do not be dismayed, you will never be alone
I have reserved 7,000 who have yet to bow down

In the quiet of my soul I search for You
In the stillness of my soul I take time for You
In the quiet of my soul I hear You
In the stillness of my soul You pass by

Your not in the wind that is breaking the mountains
Your not in the quake that is shaking the nations
Your not in the winds that breaks the rocks to pieces
Your not in the fire consuming the world's desires

As I stand on this mountain top trembling with fear
Searching for my Beloved who I know is very near
Those who have ears let them hear ... let them hear, let them hear, let them hear, let them hear
As my mantle drapes around me, I hear what the Spirit says

In the quiet of my soul I search for You
In the stillness of my soul I take time for You
In the quiet of my soul I hear You
In the stillness of my soul You pass by

Jesus, Your not in the wind
Jesus, Your not in the quake
Jesus, Your not in the fire full of humanities desires
Your not in the wind, Your not in the quake,
Your not in the fire full of humanities desires

Then I hear a still small voice...
                  a still small voice...
              
Jesus, Your the Mantle of my soul

The professional travel with class

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This goes out to my peep in Kansas. Travel with class... not with a back-ache.
Warning from the Education General. :-)

Stepp'n off a jet into the Desert

It's true. It's true. I finally did it. I moved to the Middle East.
Boarded a plane in Chi-town...
landed in a brown sandy ravine surrounded by the Persian Golf.
Wait or should I call it the Arabian Golf? Either way I'm in the desert but on the beach.
Wow! Should I say it's just mildly hot here? I guess that would be an understatement.
As I walk out the hotel sliding glass doors looking for an infamous pink female-only cab...
I go to rub off the instant steam forming upon my sunglasses.
At 7am it feels similar to walking into a steam room... but it should eventually subside with the cooler winter.
I'm employed through an all girls primary school and it’s definitely not in the city.
Although I am staying in the city until further notice...
placed high up in an Aloft. Apartments are being sought as I type (hopefully).
Seems there is a lack of enrichment in city apartments due to the high importation of foreign English teachers.
I'm beginning to feel apartment cooped. AAUUGGHH!!!
This to say that I have been to the gym quite often these past few weeks.
It's not a "Lifetime Gym" but it sure does do the trick of burning energy, as well as stress.
Now only if I could find a GNC. Heard there was one in Dubai (1 1/2 hour drive).
Did I mention the driving? Some drive an easy 200 K on this sandy path.
No longer have to watch out for deer... because you just might hit a camel!
Did you know that 1 camel is worth a quarter of a million dollars!
No wonder camel racing is the big hit here!
Back to the driving situation...
let's just say the U.A.E. is known to have the most accidents in the world.
Although it is also known to be one of the safest cities in the world.
Give or take... accidents vs. safety. Contradiction huh?
Got in a wreck the other day. A small mini bus hit the back of our cab.
Pretty hard hit. Jarred my thoughts and gave confusion.
Thankful that I came out in perfect condition. Not a scratch, bruise, or sore muscle. Praise the Lamb!
Speaking of praising... Found a church last Friday.
Still have to say that I miss IHOP.
Yes Friday is the holy day here. This will take time to adjust to.
Even though every day is holy in my little praise book.
So my Thursday is actually my Friday.
My Friday is actually my Sunday.
Surprisingly my Saturday is just my normal Saturday.
Now my Sunday is now my Monday. I don't like this one, but again you give or take.
Well this has been the longest 2 weeks of my life.
I'm alive, healthy, a little lighter, smiling-today, praying, still dreaming :-), and praising the Lamb with no reservation (even with the paper mache hotel walls).
Yes it's true. I moved to the desert and I will sing.
Looks as if I am no longer in Kansas anymore.


ps. I now for the first time in my life have a "bidet toilet" and I'm scared to use it!

Abu Dhabi at Corniche Boat Dock









Sunset from my rooftop

 

Annointing of Bethany

What if this fragrant oil is everything that has ever meant anything?
What if this alabastar flask is our very lives and the oil is all of our dreams, hopes, and desires. 
To take our flasks and break them open giving up our oil, which is everything that is really anything, and its all worship unto this King.

I hear the peoples of society saying...
 "Why this waste?  Why this waste? 
For this fragrant oil might have been sold for much and given to the poor!
What a waste! A life wasted and thrown down the drain!
When this life could have been used for fortune, business, or fame!
What a waste we say!"

Then I hear the King say...
"Leave my child be for my child has done a good and pleasing work unto me.
May the whole world know that this life was not a waste in time.
May this be a memorial of her love and devotion of faith.
Beautiful worship in preparation."

I then hear the child say...
"What is this life anyway? I live for another day."

Bonded

"The evangelization of the world is in desperate struggle with the Prince of Darkness and with everything his rage can stir up in the shape of obstacles, vexations, oppositions, and hatred, whether by circumstances or by the hand of man.  It is a serious task.  Oh, it should mean a life of consecration."   Francois Coillard


Bonded unto life. Bonded unto death.
Bonded unto Christ but more Alive.
A life of dedication. Prayer. Fasting. Purity. Kindness.
A life of happy holiness. Pursuit of Highest. 
Oh this Joy.  Oh this Joy.
A life full of love. A life of love.
A life bonded unto this Beautiful Man, Christ Jesus.
The pursuit of a life of consecration.
What does this mean?
A life of a bonservant of Christ Jesus.
Freely you have received. Freely you shall give.

"Nestle" from Heaven

As I pulled into the parking spot, I thought to myself "why not start at a different location." So as I put my running gear on, I began to prepare for the 6 mile run. Something about running on cool days makes my spirit come alive. :-D So I placed my IPOD on Genesis and began to treck through the book of Genesis as I ran over the hill and through the woods (and not Grandmother's house).

About half way through my jog, I realized that there was no water stand. "Oh why did I have to start at a different location?" Usually I start at the beginning of the Indian Trail and about half way through I reach my third park, which has a water rest area. It's the perfect place to rest; grab water, stretch, watch random children play, and then treck back. I was now wondering why I had started at the rest area. I guess some decisions we make can never be deciphered. See what change gets me into... thirst! About this moment, I stopped and sent up a short prayer to Heaven. I looked up and said "Oh Lord. No water. So thirsty. Help." Not thinking for much of a response to my prayer, I continued to run down the all-so-luscious-green trail.

Continuing on my journey through Genesis, I ran for about 1.2368 minutes and came across an amazing surprise! Right in the middle of the path sat a water bottle! I slowed my pace, as when putting a movie on slow motion to see a funny affect. As I slowly jogged past the water bottle, I looked at it with complete amazement! I then stopped and looked over my shoulder... "Yep, it was still there." I then began to jog backwards, as a movie being put on rewind to recapture a funny affect. As I got to the water bottle, I came to a stop or should I say "pause mode." I just stood there in amazement! I bent down to touch it to see if it was real. It was real alright, I wasn't experiencing a vision. Not only was the water bottle real, it was unopened, and cold! To top it off, the brand was "Nestle-Pure Life." Everyone knows this is the best brand, not to mention how aesthetically appealing the container is. Who would have thought that I would be in need of water, pray, and come right across 9 fl oz of purified water enhanced with minerals for taste, in which is unopened and cold to quench my thirst?

I am still wondering the odds being at this specific location, starting at a new destination, thirsting, praying for water, running upon a bottle of water, it being unopened, cold, purified at that, and most importantly the exact brand that I drink! What are the odds? What are the numbers of possibilities? You know what I say to the odds and number? Forget the odds and numbers, let’s drink!

Now whoever said that prayers are never answered?  He must love me or something. :-D

I love Thee

_________________________

Your always so patient with me
You never get fed up
With my resistibility
Your always so patient with me
… and He’s so patient with me

Your always so patient with us
Wanting none to perish
But all to come to repentance
Your always so patient with us
… and He’s so patient with you

Jesus     Jesus     Jesus

Always so patient
Wanting us to seek His Face
Always so patient
Wanting us to open the door
Wanting us to fall into His saving grace
Wanting us to fall in love

Jesus      Jesus      Jesus

Jesus I think I’m in love
Jesus I think I’m in love
Jesus I’m in love
_______________________

ache of rain

As I stood at the sliding glass door holding my groceries, I looked out upon the flooded parking lot. "It absolutely is raining 'Noah's flood' ... but where is the Ark" I thought. As I waited for the rain to calm, I couldn't help but take in my surroundings... breathing in the freshness of the rain, the sound of the thunder in the distance, and the beauty of the white lighting streaks upon the dark sky. I absolutely was in love and my heart hurt. All of a sudden I had this ache in my heart to be near Him. How I love thunderstorms and have ever since I was a little girl, but suddenly at this point in my life (beginning today it seems), they seem to bring about an ache of lovesickness. At that moment I just had this image flash into my soul...


There I was standing in the darkness of the night, standing in the middle of the rain. My head looking upward in the dark sky, and gazing into the eye of the storm. The rain was absolutely soaking me and I was loving every single drop that hit me. I raised my hands in worship. Somehow as I was drawn to the eye of the storm, it brought calmness to my soul. I stood in the center of the storm, rain pouring down upon my soul, lighting and thunder crashing around me, and I worshiped.


The rain began to let up slightly and I thought to myself  "What the heck... might as well get wet. My heart is lovesick for Him anyway." So I began to slowly walk out to my car. A precious older man offered to give me a lift to my car (who knows he might have been an angel-seemed to have a special glow about him) but I just looked up and said no-thank you and blessed him. How the rain felt soothing. I climbed into my car and as I pulled out of the 'Wall-mart' parking lot, I began to feel the ache creep up into my heart again. How much I longed for Him. How is it that I can long for a Man that I have never seen in the natural? Or maybe the natural isn't really the natural and the night-time-dream-land is really the natural? Or maybe there isn't really a natural but only the reality of my soul? I'd like to think of the latter... but someday He will surely explain it to me as I sit with Him at His table. Maybe it really won't matter when I finally get to His table. So as I drove home, I began to put a new association with the center of a storm and the center of my heart. As I pulled up to my house, I just sat in my car. Not wanting to move, not wanting to go in, wanting to be all alone with Him. As I now sit listening to the rain fall upon my window, listening to the thunder come crashing down, all I can think about is how much my heart aches. It's true. I am lovesick for a Beautiful Man. When can I be with Him? When?

Holy Spirit in the MAC aisle

As I walked into the Macy's entrance, I stopped while taking a long inhale of the perfumed fragrance. One of my favorite smells is the aroma of a department store's perfume counter. While taking in the aroma, I thought to myself "I wonder if this is what Heaven smells like?" I can probably almost guarantee that Heaven smells much greater than the perfume counter of a department store but if I had to pick a smell, well this would be it. As I began to meander my way through the maze of perfume and makeup counters, I somehow found my way to the MAC counter. Who would have figured right? I knew that I had come to the counter only to buy mascara. I tend to easily get distracted by the trendy new and bright shadows and shades that MAC is all so infamous for. Girls I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So I had to just keep reminding myself "I am only in here for mascara... I am only in here for mascara... I am only in here for mascara."

As I began to mingle through the MAC section, I of course found my way to the shadow not mascara plank. I was admiring the new Liberty of London Eye Shadow which is a turquoise shadow with a slight hint of gold sparkles that seemed to paint across the small circular glossy white plastic container. To top it off it was the limited edition and it had an exclusively created floral motif. It was at this very moment that the beautiful MAC sales associate asked if she could be of assistance. This brought me back to my original mission. I replied to the young woman (who's eye makeup just happened to be of perfection), "I am only in here for mascara." I told her that I wanted the High Definition Mascara." She then proceeded to tell me about the Liberty of London Limited Edition Eye Shadow that had just been released. I told her again "I am only in here for mascara." Then smiling at me, she said that she would be just a few moments with my purchase. As she began to walk to the stock wall full of mascaras, I heard this still small voice within me say "the green one... tell her it's the green container." I then began to speak within my spirit to the still small voice, "I told her it was the High Definition, and she should know that it's the green one."

As I proceeded to check out, she bagged up my small purchase into the very modern translucent MAC bag. We all know that carrying a MAC bag is part of the MAC purchase experience and one should always reach for the high tech bag even if it's a small purchase. As I began to meander my way through the Macy's maze toward the exit, I heard this still small voice within myself once again. The voice said... "Check your bag." Once again I responded within my spirit... "Check my bag? Why should I check my bag? I made the right purchase. Is that really You speaking?" To tell you all the truth, I was beginning to feel the onset of conviction for spending so much money on a measly little green plastic stick of mascara. I believe that I ignored the still small voice within myself because I felt a little silly for spending so much on the purchase. (Just for future reference, I do not recommend ignoring the still small voice.) Although I did have to rejoice because I did only go into the MAC store with one mission and I came out of the MAC store with only one purchase. So it seems that the infamous MAC store has before been one of my weaknesses. I just have to say "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." So as I was leaving the store I thought to myself "mission accomplished" or so I thought. Just before pushing the Macy doors open, I stopped to inhale once more the almost therapeutic aroma of what I thought Heaven might smell like.

That night when coming home, I threw my purchase upon my bed and still refused to check my bag. The next day as I reached into the MAC bag to begin to apply my High Definition Mascara, I saw something very peculiar. This famous green container of mascara was not green at all but the container was black! I had bought the wrong container of mascara, it was Studio Fix Lash not High Definition Lash. I must say that I was not at all a fan of the lash brush. I then began to retrace what the still small voice had spoken to me. I then began to laugh until I had tears in my eyes. Oh how much I love Holy Spirit. He concerns Himself in every activity of our lives, even in the little ones that consist of our purchases that we shouldn't really even be making. Even through my stubbornness or should I say convicting spirit, Holy Spirit cares and intervenes. I am reminded of Psalm 139:7 "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? Even in the Mac aisle You are there." (emphasis added)

God wears a white t-shirt

Tonight at church I had a question pierce into my mind.  I was worshiping and I just imagined my words being sung directly into the actual Heart of God.  To be precise I had a vision of my words leaving my heart, going up and out upon my lips, and going into the Father's heart.  What is strange is that I could not see His heart.  As I sang, I stood in front of a Man and His chest was directly parallel to my face.  I sang directly into His chest and had the urge to just want to lean over and rest my head upon His chest.  I just stood there staring at His white t-shirt.  Yes, He was wearing a white t-shirt! :-D  All I saw on Him was the very center of His chest, I could not see anything else.  My focus was sure, I was after His heart.  I desired to see His heart.  What I was going to do with it when I saw it, I do not know.  I am a very visual person and when doing something I usually have to visualize it to get the full impact of what I am doing.  As I sung into the Father's heart I tried to invision it.  I'm sorry to say that I could not see His heart.  As the music came to an end, I longed for my question to be answered...   "What does God's heart look like?"  As I sit here late in the evening, my heart is burning to see.

He loves me with His Love

_________________________________________________

I love those hands
I love those feet
I love the crown...   the crown of His righteousness


But what takes me back...   takes me back...   takes me back...
What captivates my heart
is His love...   His love for me


The King of love
The King of love
The King of all love is here


I love Your hands
I love Your feet
I love Your crown...   Your crown of all righteousness


But what takes me back...   takes me back...   takes me back...
What captivates my heart
is Your unending love for me


You love me...   You love me...   You love me unconditionally


You love me in my sin
You love me in my darkness of heart
You love me even through my own self abandonment


What takes me back... takes me back... takes me back...
what captivates my heart
is that You could ever love me


The King of love
The King of love
The King of all love is here

It's in those hands and in those feet that Your love beckons me

You love me with Your Love... His name is Jesus
_______________________________________________

Chorus from Heaven

I had a funny dream the other night.  I dreamed I was walking with a man on a city street.  Although it was in the city, we seemed to be the only ones on the street.  As we were walking I looked up at him and was surprised at his height.  I just remember thinking in my mind "Wow! You're tall... too tall! You are so different than from me."  He seemed to be around 6 '4' or 6 '5' in height, which is quite the difference from my 5 ft petite frame.  All of a sudden I heard this beautiful voice from heaven singing 2 lines, whether this was the Lord or one of His angels I do not know. 

The chorus went like this...

"I wanna go deeper and deeper and deeper cause opposites attract. 
I wanna go deeper and deeper and deeper and fall more in love with You."

Then I woke up.

I have been thinking about this encounter and I can't get this tune out of my mind.  I just keep singing it over and over and over.  I'm not sure this dream is directly pointing me to my future spouse but I am adiment about the idea that just as this man's stature was the opposite of mine, that the Lord's stature of who He is- is as also.  I mean yes, I am made to be or try to follow in the image of Christ but as much as I try to suceed I never quite make it. Simply said... I am broken.  I fall too many times.  I am the opposite of Him.  He is strong and tall and perfect.  I am weak and little and imperfect.  He is perfect inside and out.  I am not.  He is so independent and I am so needy and dependent on Him.  He is Love.  I am not.  It is fair enough to say that we are opposites.  What's great about all this?  Well although we are opposites, He is attracted to me.

Although I am dark, He thinks I am lovely.
Although I am imperfect, He still chooses to woo me.
Although I am weak, He gives me His strength.
Although I am none like Him, He wants me. 

He is after my heart. His desire is for me and mine for Him.  Yes, it is true.  We are none alike but as the saying goes, even in Heaven... Hahaha... "Opposites attract."

The Way to Love

I just wanna love You
more and more and more
Every day of my life

I don't wanna take another unexpected detour
I don't wanna slide off and onto another beaten path

So many questions in life we seem to ask...
Should I stay or should I go
Should I do this or should I do that
Should I go here or should I go there

I just wanna love You
more and more and more
Every day of my life
With every beat of my heart
With every breath that I take
I was made to love You

All so many times I'm easily distracted
Distracted by meaningless things that take home in my heart
Meaningless things that can be consuming but end in a whirlwind of nothing

Show me The Way in my weakness
Show me The Way in Your Strength

I just wanna love You
more and more and more
Every day of my life
With every beat of my heart
With every breath that I take
I was made to love You

This road seems so winding
At times so narrow but never too wide
All too many people are called
But only  few are chosen

For You spoke...
"Wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction
and narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life."

Lord Jesus help me stay on the right Way
The only Way I belong on is the road that ends in You
Help me find The Way to Love
Help me find The Way to You

Matthew 7:13-14, John 14

As I was driving to work, I began to sing a prayer.  This is what prayer came from my heart.

something new today

Easily stuck in routine. Easily bored with usual ways.
Easily routinely bored and this even becomes another routine that seems the same.
Why not try something new today?

Isn't it funny how normal ways and even your so called "normal day" becomes a vicious cycle? So many things can seem the same down to the 'T'... unless you take a different letter for change.  Here are a few usual ways:

1. The time your alarm goes off in the morning and even the amount of times that are programmed in to allow you to hit the snooze button. Why not get up a few minutes earlier or later, depending on your wake and take?
2. The side of the refrigerator that you keep the milk... and even the kind of milk (skim, 1%, 2%, D).  I still say that I prefer 2% over anything but what does 1% less or more change anyway? Don't even get me started on the consistency of skim! Also, why not go to the right of your roomies carton instead of placing it to left? Why only drink 1 glass?  I say go for seconds.
3. The route you take to work and your normal parking spot. How about going the other way around the block and parking a few slots further for more heart exercise or depending on the severity of the winter bliss, a few spaces closer to avoid your nostrils becoming  frozen together? Sound familiar?
4. The seat you decide to take in the prayer room. Take a risk and sit by someone new since you already know that you'll be in the all to infamous "prayer room play stage" ... plus you never did talk to the old neighbor in the first place. This does not include moving locations due to an individual who is oblivious to any of their seat neighbors while all the time continuously screaming unto the Lord at 29.86434 million sound decimals..Take a risk and move on your own behalf and not just by being forced out by inconsistant sound waves.
5. The way you create your lunch sandwiches. Why not go for the pepper-jack instead of the colby?Might as well add some spice to your life. If that's not hot enough go for the jalapeños! If your feeling a little risky, why not scrape off the lunch sides from the plate and load it all together in one big massive heap of a sandwich? That's what I call a meanwich!
6.  *The purchase of the famous 'mocha madness protein shake' after a really strenuous workout. How about going for the fruit instead of the chocolate? A little fruit never heart. If you want to step it up a notch and still keep the chocolate, how about adding espresso? Ummm... yummy and it's still out of the ordinary and healthy! :-D
7. The route taken home in the evening after a long day. How about trying to find a new way home each time your coming from a different location? It wouldn't hurt to learn the roads more if your not originally a local and if you get lost then you can use the awesome "God's Prophetic tracking System" (GPS). I do say this is one of the best gifts I have received (except for Eternity of course).

All this to say, that I did something new today. I woke up at a random time and it was not on a 5. I put my milk in a random spot and I parked in a 1 hour spot. Thank God I didn't get towed. I added a little spice to my sandwich and made it hot. As I was ordering my shake this evening I decided that I needed a change, I was bored with my everyday same. So I went for the strawberries and bananas. Although it was not as great as the Chocolate I must say, my soul was happy with the new partake. As I drove home tonight, I thought okay this has to be allright but I'm still bored with the same old-same old drive. I wish I could say that I took another way, but I've already tried every other route. Still all this to say, that I did something new today. What will tomorrow bring?

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Have you ever just had one of those days where you just can't shake off the 'bad mood' attitude? Yesterday seemed to be this day. I usually have a pretty happy-go-lucky personality but yesterday one who was around me probably would not have referred to me as having a peaceful personality type. I don't know what the deal was but the whole day was a big 'uncomfortable situation.' It just seemed that I found so many things to be ungrateful for.

Complaint 1:  I was out of toothpaste.

Complaint 2:  I was very very very hungry and praying for grace to get through the day.

Complaint 3 & 4:  As I went about my day, I grew very frustrated with the coldness of my classroom and became agitated beyond measure with my students. It seemed to be that the heater was not working properly in my classroom and even the students were wearing their winter coats. None of the students seemed to be following directions and they just were loud beyond measure. Hmmm... who would have guessed that second graders talked so much?

Complaint 5:   Then I was stuck behind cars that seemed to be afraid to do the actual speed limit.  You know... there are posted limits on signs for reasons.

Complaint 6: Then the coffee shop seemed to forget my 'toffee nut' flavoring in my Americano.

Complaint 7 & 8 & 9: Then I went to the FCS-renewal meeting at IHOP and as I walked through the door, I was quickly swept away like a sardine in a trial sized aluminum can. I felt like I couldn't breath and quickly became closterphobic and easily agitated with people-mostly students, who were showing any presence of a manifestation of the Spirit. I mean really... who makes any noise or movement when the Holy Spirit is upon them anyway? After walking around the building for about a half hour, I finally found a seat but only to be crawled over and upon about every 5 minutes by hot-sweaty-smelly bodies trying to make their way to and fro the front of the stage.

Complaint 10:  I was having a very bad day.

Believe it or not a PRAISE crept in:  During the FSF service, there was yet another call for healing. I felt that I was especially not in the right mood or mind of sanity to pray for healing. I think I was the one who was in desperate need of healing.  I specifically told the Lord how I felt and about my stubborn mood.  I should've expected a suddenly but I didn't.  The woman who was sitting next to me just happened stand up for healing. I felt as if I was required to pray for her. I assumed this was the Spirit leading me to pray because in my stage or frame of mind there was no possibility of any sort of elegance coming from my mouth in prayer... nope nothing else but Him (isn't this how it should always be anyway?) There was also a man praying over her. He was using a lot of big words and very expressive motions but quickly left her when his prayer ended. I grouchily prayed "Lord bring your healing and bring her body back into alignment." The Spirit then pressed it into my mind that it was caused by an injury. I then prayed (grouchily of course) "bring healing over any past injuries that her body has endured for You-Lord are worthy of her praise and worthy of her thanksgiving." Nothing outrightly seemed to happen and I sat down while trying not to focus on the crowded auditorium. She sat down next to me for about 10 minutes and then disappeared into the crowd. All of a sudden she appeared on stage and proclaimed that the Lord had healed her hips!!! She had just had a baby and had been struggling with her hips being out of alignment. When we were praying for her they popped back into place! I just sat there mystified and thankful that the Lord is so faithful! Even through my own stubbornness and grouchiness, He still worked through my prayer! I now say to myself... of course He did because it's not any power that I posses on my own that can bring healing. It's actually the Spirit dwelling within me and the power of God that brings healing. He is always faithful although I am not, He is always loving although I am not, He is always full of mercy and I am not, and He is always Big and Powerful and I am simply small, weak, sometimes irritable, and all too needy.

As I left the FSF service, still in a somewhat grouchy mood (def. 'dark but lovely') I was reminded of how faithful God truly is. I was realizing how big of a ‘brat’ I had been this day, but I was more focused and amazed at how awesome He was and is. I am so thankful that He is not anything like me, although I am praying daily to be more like Him. When He wants to work and bring healing, He doesn’t ask you to come and pray in a happy mood, without sin, or without agitation. He simply says “come as You are.” “Come to My house of praise just as you are.”

He is all together lovely. This is my faithful friend. This is my God.


More Praises: 

1. I am thankful for toothpaste that is free of diethylene glycol (a chemical in antifreeze).  Warning for the reader... do not buy toothpaste made in China it could be hazardous to your health.  Buy Crest it's the best.
2. I am thankful for having a job, while because of the economy so many do not right now. 
3. I am thankful for having a school to teach out of, while some schools are not left standing, let alone having children that are alive (Haiti). 
4. I am thankful for students who are proficient in the english language, even if they speak some Swahili on the side or in the halls. :-D 
5. I am thankful for living in a country that has equal rights for women, while some countries don't allow women to drive, let alone the other equality determining factors that affect their lives. (Martin had a dream for a reason.)
6. I am thankful for COFFEE!  Yes, I believe there will be coffee in Heaven!  Although God has told me that I won't be addicted to it in Heaven.
7. I am thankful for a wonderful Church that truly believes and lives out the Word of God.  I am thankful for the teachings that have been instilled in my heart. 
8. I am thankful for the church buildings and prayer rooms that we have, while some countries are not as fortunate.
9. I am thankful for the freedom to speak of Christ, the freedom to worship, and the freedom to evangelize and teach about Christ.
10. Last but most importantly, I am thankful for a God who loves, heals, and saves.

I am randomly reminded of one of my favorite children's books... "Alaxander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."  Maybe next time, I will move to Australia. :-D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p09_ULvFBlA  (online play-book)

bend us Lord

There is no deeper Truth
Than Jesus Christ crucified
Risen from the dead
And now alive
Returning one day
To claim His bride
A bride so sanctified and purified
Church are you ready?


Lord, help us to see You how You really are
Lord, help us to see You standing at the end of Jacob’s ladder


Open our eyes, open our eyes, open our eyes
Open our eyes that have been shut for too long
Open the eyes of our heart and not the eyes of our sinful physical nature


Help us not to be the biggest obstacles in the way
But help us see You in Absolute Truth
Help us to peer through to You and see You at the end of the ladder


Open up, open up, open up the Heavens
Give us a new revelation of Your Truth
Open up the Heavens upon Your children, upon Your bride


Lord, bend the Church, bend the Church
Bend us individually in our homes, in our congregations, in our towns,  in our regions.
Bend the Church to save the world.
Bend us Lord!




“Before there is ever an open heaven over a congregation or a city or a nation, there first is an open heaven over a person.” Quoted by Jim Goll

Jacob's ladder

Walk'n these steps of Faith
Hid'n in this cliff of mine
Trying to climb Jacob's ladder

Wrestling to see
Wrestling to hear
Wrestling just to know that He's near

Walk'n these steps of Faith
Hid'n in this cliff of mine
Trying to climb Jacob's ladder

Grabbing on to...
this seems to be... this seems to be...
this seems to be...
an endless ladder

Wrestling to see You
Wrestling to hear You
Wrestling just to know that Your near


(Genesis 28, Genesis 32)

traveling in song

As I looked down, I knew my location was not stable.  I began to to do what I normally do when I do not know what to pray, sing.  Slowly and softly I began to sing in the Spirit.  As I traveled from location to location, from place to place, from town to town, from country to country; I did what I only could do, sing in the Spirit.  As I stood at one location singing, I felt an indescribable sense of Freedom.  I looked up to my Maker and He spoke the words to me "bending bows of oppression."  The scene then changed and I was standing in a diffferent country, I began to do what I only knew what to do.  I began to walk and sing in the Spirit and I felt more alive than I have ever felt before.  It was amazing how my locations were changing, but my walk and song were consistent and unchanging.  It was as if I were walking in and out of countries, singing in the Spirit, bringing Freedom through my prayer song.  As the last scene came to an end, I was awaiting a message as usual.  I heard an audible voice speak from above "Come worship in this beautiful place of worship."  Seemingly unique that this is not the first time He has given me this very message.  In this last moment, I began reciting this phrase, not to quickly forget again.  I then awoke and opened my eyes, singing in the Spirit.  Today I am thinking that I need to fall asleep more often singing in the Spirit.

Bathed in Jesus

As I awoke this morning, I heard the whisper of the Lord, "John 13." I spent most of the day meditating on the story of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. What a beautiful story of service and love.

I found it quite amazing how Jesus knew His High Position, His Royal Authority, and He humbled Himself to serve the disciples by washing their feet. I can imagine Him picking up a ceramic clay pitcher or maybe a dull silver pitcher full of water, and pouring the clean water into a basin lying upon the dirt floor. As He arose from the table sitting amongst His disciples after supper, parching down to take off His outer clothing, while wrapping and girding a towel around His waistline. He approached each one of the disciples to wash clean the only thing left dirty (all except Judas of course), their feet. He then approached Simon-Peter to wash his feet but Simon-Peter began to protest.

I can picture the scene, Simon-Peter gently pushing Jesus' hand away and stepping backwards, while saying boldly:

"You shall never wash my feet."
"You are of too High Authority."
"You are too Holy and I am simply not."
"I should be the one serving You."
"I should be the one in who is washing Your feet."
"I should be the one stooping down upon a basin cleansing the sand and dirt from our journey off of your feet."
"No Jesus; I will not let You wash my feet."

Yes, I can picture the scene in my mind. Clear as day I can picture the scene with full understanding on Simon-Peter's behalf. Did you ever wonder why it was Simon-Peter who was the one to protest? Think for a moment about who was the one who denied Jesus 3 times. I believe that God chose Simon-Peter to be the one to protest to show His loving kindness, mercy, and absolute forgiveness. Although Jesus knew that Simon-Peter would soon deny Him-in which He even warned Simon-Peter of the future event, He still chose to serve him out of humility, love, and faithfulness. Simon-Peter would soon understand the heights and depths of Jesus' love for him, when remembering this extravagant act of service once his denials had taken place. Yes, Simon-Peter would soon understand how much this Man 'Jesus' truly loved and served him.

It's beyond significance that as Jesus walked with the disciples and shared the secrets of His Heart, the secrets of Eternal Life, the secrets of the coming Kingdom, and the secrets of the Father's Heart; that not all of them obtained full understanding that it was Jesus who would wash them clean from the filth of the world. That it was by Jesus and only through Jesus that they would all become clean and follow in the very footsteps that He used as a living example, the very likening of their Beloved Lord Jesus. As Peter protested against Jesus' washing of his feet, he gave a stipulation that Jesus could wash all of him. This was due to the fact that his feet weren't really all that pretty and clean. I mean come on let's be real, most aren't right? This was the dirtiest part of their bodies, especially when considering the hot-dry-sandy dessert. It's not like they had tennis shoes back then either, let alone foot-deodorant spray. They wore leather sandals, which probably smelled definitely not like 'Japanese cherry blossoms.' Jesus again told him that he was already bathed, he was already clean. He was not talking about the literal aspect of being cleaned by water and soap but He was referring to the spiritual act of cleansing. Jesus had already made him spiritually clean. It was and still is Jesus who makes us clean. Just as Simon-Peter was bathed in Jesus, we are bathed in Jesus. We are bathed in Jesus and made completely clean, that is if you believe in Him. If you do not believe in Him than you can choose to believe, be bathed in Jesus, and be made spotless-squeaky clean.

Jesus' full act of humility of service was a clear sign that it is only by Him that they could be clean. Although He knew that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God (John 13:3), He still chose to serve His servants. For this is a real servant. In stead of our humanistic philosophy and tendencies that lead us to veer away from humility and serving others of a lower status, it was due to His High positions that lead Him to serve and teach the very thing He was practicing. For this is a real servant. He was their Lord. He was their Teacher. He was teaching them what it meant to truly serve out of love.

This passage is yet another example of how close Jesus was and still is. Before the first advent, it was as if God was a God so far off. Suddenly Jesus came as a man, a human baby needing what every other human baby in the dessert needed, caring and love. God came as a baby who would love without stipulation, limitation, or circumstance. He came as One who would walk and talk with His beloved friends, disciples, children, and even strangers in need. He came as one who would serve even though He knew He was above all. He came to serve all that had been given to Him by God the Father. He came in humility to make a way that was not so far away as was before. He came knowing He was from God and was going back to God. He came to serve and love, so that they (we) may be clean, bathed in Jesus, and following in His very footsteps doing the same. He suddenly was not a God so far away.

"Mostly assuredly, I say to you a servant is no greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things; blessed are you if you do them." John 13:16-17

As I again think about Simon-Peter's protest, I think about my own-this is if I were to be in his very position. I'm pretty sure I would have reacted in the very same manner. I mean "who am I that Jesus would wash my feet?' I don't feel worthy enough, that's for sure. Wait but that's what is so great about this message. It's not by our might or by our doing that we can become clean enough or worthy enough for Jesus to serve us, as to His washing our feet. It's only by knowing Him intimately and being bathed in His Love that we can be made clean enough to have our feet washed by Him.

Jesus said "If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me." John 13:8

He was saying that if you do not acknowledge that you are clean by my doing than you are denying my worthiness to clean you. You are denying the reason for my very existence. If you can not acknowledge this, than you can no longer walk with me. Jesus was saying that "It's only by My service that you can be made worthy to carry My Name. Now, let me wash Your feet."

Jan. post- The Hub Journal

I currently write a monthly column for a Korean International Christian Journal that posts in Seoul, Korea called "The Hub." A very good friend of mine, who is the editor of the journal wrote an article over Robert Park. Robert Park is a Christian Korean American Human Rights Activist/Missionary who just recently was obtained in North Korea. For those of you who don't know Robert Park or what has been happening with him associated with North Korea, here's a copied version of her article. When hearing about his detainment my heart immediately broke and went into intercession. When living in Seoul, my heart was awakened to the issues in North Korea by this man's passion and zeal. Since then I have had a burden for North Korea for intercession as well as missions. I had attended a few prayer meetings and church services, that Robert Park had spoken at and something just hits home in my heart when hearing this news. I realize that so many people in the west and even some here at the International House of Prayer aren't all that up to date with world news, but I believe that it's a necessity to be when intercession is a primarily calling to our lives. Please read this article and intercede for Robert Park and North Korea.

The Hub Journal

Volume 2 Issue 12
Page 3
On Robert Park and North Korea by Tash Schoultz

“Concentration camps,” “1000 people a day (dying) by starvation,” and “geno­cide” are the reasons that Robert Park, a fellow Christian and human rights activ­ist, listed for walking across the Tumen river and entering North Korea (illegally) Christmas evening around 5pm. The Tumen river lies on the border between North Korea and China, and during the winter time many North Koreans illegally leave their country by walking across this river, which is frozen, and escape into China in search of a better life. Although the border is guarded by armed guards, instructed to shoot at anyone trying to escape the country, many North Koreans risk the possibility of death rather than stay within the oppressive confines of North Korea out of sheer desperation. It was therefore surpris­ing for many to hear that a Christian Korean American would freely choose to enter North Korea, despite North Korea’s very negative human rights record and its history of persecuting Christians.
Robert Park entered North Korea in plain sight with a letter addressed to the country’s president imploring him to rectify the human rights abuses happening in North Korea and to release the political prisoner’s who are in the prison camps. In an interview with Reuters, Robert Park is quoted as saying, “I want Kim Jong-il and the North Korean government to know that I love them. I love all these people. I am going in because it has to change, for the sake of the children, the men and the women who are being brutally murdered.” As he entered North Korea, he was fully aware that he may be martyred, a price that Robert Park told the media (prior to entering) that he would be willing to pay in order to highlight to the world the seriousness of the North Korean situation.
Living in South Korea for almost 7 years now, reading extensively about North Korea and meeting a number of North Korean defectors as well as being involved in a volunteer ca­pacity with an NGO related to North Korean human rights back in 2007, I can concur with Robert Park that the North Korean situation is very serious. Defectors living in South Korea, as well as in other countries around the world, give testimony to Christians being tortured and killed in the prison camps of North Korea. In a country where religious freedom is non-existent, if the North Korean government finds out that someone is a Chris­tian they are labeled as a political dissident and are sentenced to long prison terms in political pris­on camps, which, as Robert Park told Reuters, are comparable to those of Nazi Germany, or worse. I have read testimonies of liquid­ized metal being poured over Christians as they were martyred for their faith, of Christians in the prisons not being allowed to look up at the sky in fear that they are pray­ing or being involved in what the prison officials call “superstitious” behavior, and of prisoners in the camps feeling lucky to be able to catch rats to eat in order to be able to escape starvation.
North Korea is about a two hour drive from the affluent capital of South Korea, Seoul – yet it is like travelling to a completely different world. In Seoul we see bags and bags of leftover food being thrown away daily. We also see people eating expensive meat and seafood dishes in trendy restaurants, large modern apart­ment buildings with cozy warm under­floor heating, and the latest in cell phone technology and designer bags being profligately displayed. It breaks my heart to think that the food we throw away daily could save the lives of thousands of starving North Koreans.
Yet, as Robert Park points out, North Korea is indeed receiving a lot of food aid from various international nations however the starving people of North Korea never see this food, instead the food is distributed to the army and military who are involved in the suppression of the North Korean people. Food is used to con­trol North Korean citizens, with those in good favor with the government getting more food than those in bad favor with the government, and of course Christians are at the very bottom of the pecking order receiving barely enough food to survive on in the prison camps.
Considering how desperate the situation in North Korea is, and that it is our brothers and sisters in the family of Christ who are being martyred for loving Jesus, it is no wonder that Robert Park’s heart broke for this nation and that he is willing to give his life for the people of North Korea. Whether you agree with Mr. Park’s method of drawing attention to the situation or not, is peripheral. Of far greater importance to us should be how Jesus feels about what is happening to His people in North Ko­rea. Our hearts should break for the things that break our Lord’s heart. Knowing what is happening just two hours from many of our homes should move us so much that we weep over this na­tion, fast and pray to see change. Second Chronicles 7:14 tells us, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” All of us need to recognize the universality of the body of Christ and realize that when one part of the body of Christ is in pain, we all suffer along with them. The situation in North Korea is not only the situation of the North Korean people and the per­secuted North Korean church, but it is our situation, too. We need to humble ourselves along with them, turn from our wicked ways, seek God’s face, repent and plead with God for the healing of the North Korean nation.
At present Robert Park is de­tained in North Korea, please keep him in your prayers.