He Loves me. He loves me not.

As a little girl, I can remember walking outside on my grandfather's farm and picking flowers, mostly daisies.  They were white with yellow centers and they were the wild kind.  The farm there had rolling hills, with a few old rusty grain silos parched on them.  As a child, I used to wander around the farm, day dream, and make up songs/stories (what most 5-6 year olds do :-D).  I can remember getting lost in thought on those rolling hills, which seemed much bigger than what they really were.  I used to sit behind the grain silos and pick the wild daisies that grew right up against the rusty walls.  I often would pick a few other wild flowers along the way too.  My young curious mind, would often wander to the thoughts of God.  While playing on the farm,  I often would sing my thoughts to God.  I'm not sure if this is normal for a 5 year old, but maybe God was making me into a "David."  As I picked those daisies, I would always ask God... "Do you love? Do you love me not?"  Then I would begin to pick each pedal off the flower, while saying or singing...

Pedal #1  "He loves me."
Pedal #2  "He loves me not."
Pedal #3  "He loves me."
Pedal #4  "He loves me not."
....
....
....

I would often get to the very last pedal and most of the time it would be...

Last Pedal #...   "He loves me!"

... but on the times that it wasn't I would ALWAYS "make up" an extra pedal and say...

Last Pedal #... "Yep, He loves me!"

I would then smile up at Heaven and feel absolutely LOVED!

Even as a child, I always knew the love of God.  It was never really explained to me at this age but something in my child-like heart knew that there was a Father out there who extravagantly loved me. I knew that in his flower making skills there was no such pedal for me called "He loves me not."
I knew His Love as I walked on those rolling hills.
I knew His Love when I sat along that grain silo.
I knew His Love when I walked along that big creek, which now seems more like a stream.
I knew His Love when I picked those daisies.
I knew His Love when I sang to Him ... "He Loves me.  Yes, He loves me."

"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!"  1 John 3:1

Today as I was shopping, I came across this treasure.  I was brought immediately back to my grandfather's farm and my days of daisy picking.  I was reminded just how much God loves me.  He really really loves me!

American Dream

I had a dream last night in which I was house shopping. I was walking around a neighborhood with quite a few number of houses.  Every house looked the same except for the different sizes of the yards.  I was alone and without a realtor.  I came to this one specific house.  I walked in and began to walk around.  As I was walking around the house looking at the rooms, I came into the kitchen, which was in the very center of the house.  There was a familiar friend from my childhood in the kitchen.  He was sitting at the kitchen table (kitchen island) on a bar stool, which was in the middle of the kitchen.  As I approached him, he began telling me how he and his wife had bought a house just like this house and it was in the very same neighborhood.  He then took me to look at their house.  To get there, we walked around a small pond in the neighborhood while passing a few other homes.  Their home was almost the same as the one I had originally looked at, but with just minor differences.  I then looked at the yard to see how big it was.  The yard was much smaller and closer to the other houses, the trees were also very close to their house.  I noticed in the dream that all the houses looked the same.  I then looked at my friend and told him that I wanted to buy the first house. I said... "It is what I want."  I then woke up.

As I thought about this dream, I was surprised why I would ever want to buy a house like this.  In the dream, the house was not beautiful although it was not ugly either.  It was not unique but it was very similar to all the other houses in the dream.  It was small and simple, a little boring.  The only difference from my house compared to my friend's house was that it had a bigger yard. I was not really impressed by the appearance, size of rooms, yard size, uniqueness, or character of the house.  Yet I still stated that I wanted to buy the house. Why?  I prayed about this dream today and the interpretation of it.

I felt that God was talking to me about the so called "American Dream."  I believe that God has given me a choice of how I can live my life.  To the average American it may seem like the thing to do.  Most might settle down, buy a small-adverage house-in a small neighborhood, along a small pond.  Most people might actually be content with their average lifestyle.  For years they might even say... "this is what I want."  This is exactly what I said in my dream.  As I said this in the dream, my heart felt something completely different.  Although these words came from my mouth, my heart was not satisfied with the decision.  I awoke thinking... "Why on Earth would I settle for the average lifestyle?"  I personally don't think that God was specifically speaking to me about buying a house but that the house was symbolic for the "normal" American lifestyle.  God has given me a choice of what lifestyle I may live.  There are two options to choose from: The path that most people take, the so called American Dream with an average life, average neighborhood, average house, average yard, average pond, and average family or the path less traveled into the unknown, living in random countries, random cities, random cultures, unknown houses, among unknown or different languages, and with the unknown of when the family may come, if by chance it ever does.

One path seems average and the other path seems random & risky.
One dream seems contentful and the other dream seems unknown.
One home seems small and grounded and the other home seems limitless and vast beyond the oceans.
One seems so stagnant and the other seems so fruitful in new seasons.
One seems to be walking by sight and yet the other seems to be walking by faith.

I have to admit, I like the latter.  This is my path. This is my dream. This is my home.
"This is what I want."


Somehow I can't help but think of the path less traveled. :-)

that chosen to be close to God one

I want to be that chosen to be close to God one

To hear Your Voice
To feel Your Nearness
To see Your Face
And to know Your Gaze

Because I want to be that chosen to be close to God one

To look in to the night sky and know The One who created each star
To walk along the oceans and know The Man who filled them up
To look upon mountain tops and know The Master Painter
And to step into different seasons and know The Changer of them all

I want to be that chosen to be close to God one

To walk into a different nation and know You ~The One Father of them all
To step into the darkest places and know that You have already gone before me
To look into the face of strangers and to exchange a glance through Your Eyes
And to love others through the love that You have chosen to love me

Because I want to be that chosen to be close to God one
God choose me