Lilacs and Acrylics

The most perfect evening yet in Seoul. Spent with 2 beautiful girls, a bench, 3 lyres, lilacs, 3 canvases, and a set of acrylics. Nothing can compare. I found the painted imagery quite unique. It's amazing how you can retrieve feelings from paintings.

Turkish Children's Day

A little bit of Turkish culture in Seoul, Korea. Today was children's day in Turkey. Being that RIS is a Turkish International School, we visited the Turkish Cultural Center. Here are just a few of the pictures taken. Take to notice the rainbow if you would, yet another sign of God's faithful guidance. :-D

~Sign-Rainbow~

Bibs and Seabass

5:00 am: 2 bananas, 1 large glass of OJ, track pants, sport socks, fresh trackies, pony (for the hair of course), sweat band, stop watch, and most importantly the 'ipod'. All the necessities of marathon training. Yes, I said it... what? are you hard of hearing? I said 'marathon training'. Hopefully I won't need knee wraps anytime soon.

Location: Where is this festivity taking place? Well it's going to be held at the Songdo Daewoo Motors Field, Inchon Bridge, at Yeongjong Island.

The Running Track

This will be my first marathon, aahh and it's only the beginning of many. I began training last week, many months in advance of course. Come on guys, you all know how prepared I am at tasks before doing them. I just love preparatory skills and administration. Should I be chuckling, because I am. These are my 2 worst skills. I began with a 10K schedule but I wanted more of a challenge, so 20K it is. I'm most def. up for the challenge, as all of you who truly know me, know very well that I can struggle with a 'no' to any challenge. Should I be saying this? We'll see if it has any future impact.

Vigorous Training Schedule: Need I say vigorous, so far it has been pretty do-able. During the weekdays I start off at sun-rise, hit'n the track just a few blocks from my shoe-box crib. There seems to only be a few humans meandering on the track. I seem to get some sort of publicity when it comes to the morning runs. Not necessarily bad, could be due to numerous circumstances.

1. being I'm the only megook on the path.
2. I'm probably one of the youngest in comparison to the agimas and ahjummas.
3. I listen to my music very loudly and sometimes hum when I run. :-)

Surprisingly, every one that I run by has been very friendly to me. I have received more smiles on the track the past week than I have in the past 2 years street meandering in Korea. I try to bless each beautiful smile I see. At one point during my first week of training (while running in consistant circles), I thought "this must what it feels like to be a gerbil." The required time during the first few weeks is 30-35 min of consistent running, no walking, stopping, peeing, or "are we there yets?". I have actually loved the runner's rush... or what they call the "runner's high." I will admit that I have not been following all the rules. I didn't feel like stopping at 30 min, so I probably ran more than what I should've. I made it for 50 min, straight running minutes yesterday morning. Yes and I bragged about it too... except with a slight differentation in story. The incident occurred at our "Famous RIS Lunch table" I stated that I ran straight for 1 hour. Hey, I wasn't lying... I was just counting the time it took me to get back to "the shoebox." I did cut down on my cardio in the gym and also on my taekwondo boxing/cardio classes. I'm not planning on cutting down any on my weight. On weekend runs, I upgrade to the Han river bicycle path. Don't worry I won't get ran over... hmm should I be wearing elbow and knee pads? During my off running days, I try to hit the gym for weight training. Soon, I will be partaking to the point of scheduling known as... speed training. I'm curious to see how I will do. speed walk, run, speed walk, run, speed walk, run, speed walk, run, speed walk... should I keep going? I'll keep you all updated on the advancement.


Dress Code: So, for the ballroom attire I can say that I am not planning on sport'n those short runing shorts... as most call 'spedos'. I'm pretty stoked to be wearing an official running bib with numbers... hmm... I wonder if I get to choose my number? And now for the grand finale... drum role please... dun-dun-dun... The Seabass Running Club shirts! Yes, it's official! After finishing a run with my awesome co-worker Lee and his wonderful wife Deanna, buying an official starbucks beverage for Deanna, and taking a picture that I'm so sad to say was not saved (darn motorolla phones), I am now a lifetime member of the Seabass Running Club and the shortest one too!

In the beginning...

Nicole's version of God creating man Random thought: "I wonder if there was music during creation?"

Don't mind the fuzzy-ness... it's for those with modest eyes. :-D

The strings of His Heart

I heard this song a few weeks ago and it has been playing in my soul since. The past few weeks I have felt so distant from His presence. Sometimes I just feel like the Lord is so far away, but in actuality I know that He is right next to me. It's really myself drawing away from Him at times. All so many times He is probably whispering to me "come closer to my heart child." I know that He never moves and that He always wants me to draw nearer to Him. I want to draw nearer to His heart. I want to know Him more and more. I want to play the strings of His heart. At times I will sit, sing, and play as if I am singing directly into His heart. When I feel so far from the Lord, Music always brings me into His presence. Why is this? When I heard this song, it brought to me a visual of how my words go directly into His heart. How He gives us the strings of His heart to play and how He plays the strings of ours, how our words of song float into His heart and how He sings into ours. Simple but complex, beautiful.

I want to play the strings of Your heart, God
Come play the strings of mine
I want to sing straight to Your heart, God
Come sing straight to mine Lord

You have my heart; Lord, You have my hope
Lord, You have my heart, and I am searching for Yours

Lord, You have my thoughts; Lord, You have my thoughts
Lord, You have my thoughts, and I am searching for Yours.

Lord, You have my song; Lord, You have my song
Lord, You have my song, and I am searching for Yours.

I'm so in love with You, I'm so in love with You,
I'm so in love with You, Jesus
Jesus, Jesus
Song by Misty Edwards

Friend of the poor

Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:1-10

reign in me

The past few months I have had a few disturbing dreams. I had one specifically last week that woke me and just made my stomach turn circles all day. It seems that I have direct dreams from the Lord, in which I don't want to wake up but I would rather stay and soak in His wonderful presence and revelation... then I have the other dreams in which I want to jump out of and push far out of my mind, the ones that scare me. I cry out wanting only dreams from the Lord, dreams of peace and revelation. As I cried out the other night for the Lord to reign over my heart and mind in my sleep, I fell into a quite sleep. I awoke with this song in my heart.

Over all the earth
You reign on high
Every mountain stream
Every sunset sky
But my one request
Lord my only aim
Is that you reign in me again

Lord reign in me
Reign in your power
Over all my dreams
In my darkest hour
You are the Lord of all I am
So won't you reign in me again

Over every thought
Over every word
May my life reflect
The beauty of my Lord
You mean more to me
Than any earthly thing
So won't you reign in me again... reign in me again... So won't you reign in me again...
by Brenton Brown

I have to admit that I sang my heart out all day (all week) with this song. I couldn't get this tune out of my mind, it was as if the Lord had placed it upon my heart during my darkest hour, as a seal of protection-that only He would reign in my dreams.

Thank you Father for being so faithful, for loving me so much, for protecting my heart and mind when I have no control. You are beautiful my Lord and You mean more to me than any earthly thing. I want only my life to reflect the beauty of You. I pray to You that You will reign in me, in all you power and majesty, in all your holiness and beauty. Father reign in me.

Matthew 16:24

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

The past few weeks I have dreamed this verse numerous times. I awake quoting this verse in my dreamy-state thoughts as well as in the sleepy state voice of reality. I have been familiar with this verse since I was a child as I memorized it at camp. God is speaking this verse to me in a new light, out of my unconsious control. I just love how He speaks to me this way and I am excited for more of His revelation from this experience.

I also love the following verse:
"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Matthew 16:25

Assembly Line

I woke up this morning to a slight pain in my heart. Sometimes being a teacher makes your heart hurt. You become so attached to the students that they become a part of your daily thoughts, even when you’re not at school. Some students more than others, not saying that I have favorites, but at times it seems necessary to pray for more patience and love with these specific ones. Its not that they are bad but they are just special cases. It's funny that how 'the one' student I struggled with emotionally and at one time physically seemed to be one of the ones that my heart grew so found of. *Just a side-note so you don't all think I'm abusive :-), you could just say that at times this precious one didn't know what to do with his anger. As I began to pray for more love and patience for this little-one, the Lord began to pour out more than what I asked for. He really changed my heart to love this little one despite any circumstances, unconditionally. As my heart began to change, it seemed the child began to change. As the months have gone by my heart has grown more and more for this little one, especially his dimpled mischievous look. My heart has not been the only one that has changed, but the little one's heart has too. I began to see trust develop in his eyes and I began to see love grow in his heart for me. The past month I was reminded of God's love through this mischievous one. One morning a few weeks ago, I saw this blue streak running across the room and then I felt two little arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. I looked down and saw Osama just looking up at me with those big brown eyes. At that moment, I was reminded of how much God loves us. Through this little boy, God was giving me a hug and telling me He loved me. How the Lord has changed my heart to love as He has called me to love. I have to admit that it was hard at first but now I don't want to let this little boy go back home. It's funny how God works sometimes and turns our weaknesses into our greatest strengths or accomplishments. The beginning of the year I struggled with love and now towards the end of the year as this little one leaves to go back to his country, I don't want to let go of the love I have for him. I won't let go of this love and I will always remember this little precious munchkin. I see now that teachers give love but that love is also taken from them. You give a peace of your heart to each one of your students and you watch them flourish through the year. I don't know why, but I guess I always expected to get that peace of heart back. :-D It doesn't work like that. A peace of my heart was taken this week and I'm okay with it. It hurts but at the same time it feels good. I will always have a little peace of my heart in Saudi Arabia. Maybe when it's done and overwith a few more pieces of my heart will be there.

Season of Consecration

I have been praying about where the Lord is now leading me. It's as if He is stirring in my heart and telling me "My daughter there is more, there is more, there is more." I just have to say to my readers, that I love Korea. Coming to Korea was the best thing that I have ever done. Coming here opened my eyes to God's heart and how much He truly loves me- an unfathomable endless love. Even when speaking the word 'Korea" it strikes a key in my heart. The other night, I was talking with a friend on the subway and he said "Korea is a special place." Yes, Korea is a very special place. The Lord really brings His children to Korea to awaken their hearts to His love. Korea has become my home, even at times I feel more comfortable here than I do back in the States. It seems the more and more I am here; the less comfortable I am in western civilization. Being in Seoul-Korea has opened my heart to love Him in a new way, opened my heart to His heart for the lost around the whole world, and has brought me to a sense of endless worship, prayer, and song. So when thinking of Korea, I can honestly say this is where I first whole-heartedly experienced the Lord. Korea has become my home, although of course my first home is with the Lord-Jesus Christ (believing you all knew that). But there's always that but right? But I feel it's not enough, I feel a longing for more. The Lord has placed a passion of worship, music, prayer, and an endless searching for Him upon my heart. It's all I think about, it's all I dream about.

This week the Lord has really spoken to my heart through the story of 'The Tabernacle of David.' I read about Solomon being young and inexperienced and how the house that he is to build is to be of huge magnificence and splendor. The Lord tells David "He will be my son and I will be his Father." This is pertaining to Solomon being the son and the Lord being the Father. In a slight-way I feel like Solomon, young and very inexperienced. Although Solomon's calling is to the structural building of the Tabernacle of David (Temple of the Lord) and mine is more so in worshiping, praying, interceding, witnessing, and teaching. I can't help but feel a sense of mysterious connection to the Tabernacle of David, through Solomon. I feel young and inexperienced in worship, prayer, music, and evangelism; but I know this is one of my callings. I believe that just as Solomon was equipped through the preparations of David and the power and Spirit of the Father, that I will be equipped too. I take this story in heart to be a promise that the Lord will equip me in my young and inexperienced abilities, just as He did for King Solomon. The verse that captivates my heart is "He will be my son and I will be his Father." As growing up with no father figure in my life, it has always been hard to grasp the love of a father, as well as the love of Christ. The past almost 2 years the love of a Father has been awoken in my heart here in Seoul-Korea. To say the Lord has rained down His love is an understatement. It has become so powerful, but beyond the love of an earthly father, the love of Christ can't even compare to an earthly sense. I have had so much healing here in Korea when speaking about the love of a father. The Lord's love has covered over all the holes in my heart and emptiness, as I now see that I have a Beautiful Wonderful Father. How beautiful the love of the Heavenly Father is. My sweet Father, thank-you for you your son-ship, thank you for your Father-hood, that I can be called the daughter of the Holy One Most High.

I have begun to look further into pursuing other schools/ internships that could better equip and train me in these areas. I'm still in the process of praying on a possible school or program. I wish there were a school in Korea that I felt lead to, but I'm afraid there isn't one that has a music/worship program. Lately I have had nervousness upon me when thinking about leaving Korea. I have grown so much here and I was a little nervous to leave my church, my college, my friends, my teaching job, and my spiritual-family. But as I was reading through 1 Chronicles and meditating on it this week, I really felt the Lord whispering to me "I will never leave you, come after me for there is more." Then I came upon these scriptures:

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." 1 Chronicles 16:11"Whatever you have in mind, do it, for God is with you." 1 Chronicles 17:2"

I will be his father, and he will be my son. I will never take my love away from him, as I took it away from your predecessor. I will set him over my house and my kingdom forever; his throne will be established forever." 1 Chronicles 17:13-14

"Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished." 1 Chronicles 28:20

I believe these scriptures are telling me to do whatever the Lord has placed in my mind and heart to do. They are telling me to look to the Lord and embrace His strength, focus on seeking His face in everything I do. It is a promise that He is my father and that He will always love me and will never take His love away. God is telling me He will give me strength, knowledge, wisdom, and skill to do any work that He has placed in my heart. That I can't gain knowledge, wisdom, or training for myself or for anyone else, but that it's only for Him and through His Spirit that this can be made possible.

"My son Solomon, the one whom God has chosen is young and inexperienced. The task is great because this palatial structure is not for man but for the Lord God." 1 Chronicles 29:1

I believe this verse is not to be taken lightly. I will take this literally as well, for when we feel the Lord calling us for worship, service, etc. sometimes we have this little green-eyed monster creep in called pride. Aaahhhh yes, pride. We all have dealt with pride, I'm sure numerous times, at least I know I have. When the Lord calls us to go somewhere, do something, to serve or be part of praise, He wants us to do it whole-heartedly for Him and through Him. So many times people do things for the wrong reasons, for the approval of man and the world. It's when the Lord calls the weak or the inexperienced that they truly have to rely on Christ for knowledge, wisdom, equipping, and the power of the Holy Spirit. It's not what you can do for the Lord, but what the Holy Spirit can do through you for Him.

" And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. 10Consider now , for the Lord has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work." 1 Chronicles 28: 9-10

Then I began to think about only worshiping, praying, seeking God's face. To set aside a season of my life to grow closer to the Lord in prayer, song, meditation, and really digging into His written Voice. How awesome would it be to drop everything for a season and pursue after God's Heart? I was thinking this late this evening as I was meditating and praying on 1 Chronicles. Then I came to the Lord's Voice in scripture:

"Now who is willing to consecrate himself today to the Lord?" 1 Chronicles 29: 5

I think I might have 'yelped' when I read this. How God is so good! I want to say I Love Him, but it's more than love. I'm Lovesick for Him. He never get's old and it seems time after time, He speaks His heart to me. I can't get enough, I long to know Him more. The craziest part about it, is that He loves me more. We think our love is strong for Him, but it's nothing compared to the Love He has for us. My heart melts when I think how much He loves me, how much He thinks I'm absolutely beautiful.